Who is the fighter’s shadow?
They are the tireless men and women who serve Belegarth, never receiving a word of thanks or praise.
They are the non-coms, spending hours making garb for their friends, forgotten with the words “lay on”.
They are the significant other, left alone all day as they wonder what role they have at an event.
They are the curious newbie, full of hope and questions but ignored by their veterans.
They are all those who suffer under the weight of Belegarth’s apathetic, abrasive culture but still believe in its promise.
We are often not seen, not heard, but we are always there: watching, working, and waiting for the chance to make a difference. We know the sport and love it, even as we can barely find our voice.
This blog is to catalog the thoughts of one woman who has always struggled in the shadows other great fighters, including friends. It is a way to speak out and share the world the fighters do not always see, even on the field. I encourage every Belegrim who stops by to leave their comments and stories, that we can understand more about the diversity that is part of the Belegarth Medieval Combat Society.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
The Fighter's Shadow
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My Lady,
ReplyDeleteI do not know you, but I just read your "You know you're a Belegrim when..." post, and realized that I probably was at the event you took that picture at.
I need to apologize. I am relatively new to this sport, and I like to think I am working towards improving the culture. Despite all this, I was there, and like you said, forgot the non-coms. I do not believe I spoke to even one non-com that day. I am sorry. I have no excuse.
I will say, not as a defense, but just to state, that it is sometimes hard for us fighters to connect with those who come and do not fight. Most of us are here for the battles and the combat. You often don't make much sense to us. If you could please offer some insights in how we can include you, that would be much appreciated.
You do make a difference. Please help us understand how to help you in your contributions.
Thank you for all your hard work and effort. Your articles are wonderful. Thank you for your addition to the sport as a whole.
I hope to see you sometime at another event, and do better than I did this time.
Once again, I am sorry for my failings. I will strive to do better.
Derak of Thorondor.
There is no need to apologize, though I appreciate the gesture. At that particular event, I was feeling very sick, so I was being quite anti-social anyway. I realize how hard it can be to socialize with someone who is sitting silently on the sidelines, and I don't expect fighters to go out of their way to talk to us. Just know that we're there for a reason even though we aren't fighting; we probably have some interest in Belegarth despite avoiding the field.
ReplyDeleteThe best thing you can do for non-coms is to make sure new fighters understand just how much non-coms do to make fighting possible. Be shown giving us respect - just a "thank you" to anyone who is doing service is enough. I don't think any of us expect strangers to go out of their way to become friends with us (we are just people after all), but showing in some small way that you remember us and appreciate what we do goes a long way. My own method at bigger events is usually a few verbal thank yous and a small gift of food for the event coordinators or people running troll.
Thank you again for the kind words, and if you find yourself at Geddon, know you're always welcome in my camp. Just ask for Shrike of Briarwood, or look for my husband (Matthias).