I don't need to be good at fighting, just better than you

Sometimes you don't need to be a great fighter out there to win, you just need to make less mistakes than the other guy. Today, I’d like to explore a few very important unwritten rules of Belegarth in the form of a war story. Now, when I say “unwritten rules” I don’t mean etiquette, so much as “things to pay attention to if you don't want to be laughed at later”.

My particular tale takes place during a small unit battle, with Heidoran and the Uruk-hai squaring off first against one another. For those who are unfamiliar with these units, let me provide a little background:

Heidoran was a larger unit in Numenor several years ago, brought together by a sense of camaraderie rather than great fighting. They usually fought in a tight formation with shieldmen and a few polearms since they could not rely on any member’s individual skill. Once their shield wall cracked, they were often slaughtered quickly and completely. You can think of them as the lovable underdogs.

A smiling family portrait of a few Heidoran members. Photo from geddon.org

The Uruk-hai, on the other hand, are almost all large, armored guys with a fair amount of skill, often called "orks" for short. They only had a few men at this practice, but knew how to break through a shield wall effortlessly. Each one could easily stand on his own, and he was even more dangerous with his unit-mates around him.

The Uruk-Hai en masse, ready for war. Photo from geddon.org

Okay, so it’s probably pretty clear what happened at the beginning of the battle. After all, underdogs are called that for a reason. The Uruk-hai simply smashed through Heidoran’s shield wall, though the less-skilled unit was still able to whittle them down to just one man by using their superior numbers. Many Heidoran fighters tried to stand their ground, which ended in their quick demise. And here comes lesson the first:

Rule 1: When faced with overwhelming odds, don’t be afraid to run.

As it turned out, one Heidoran archer did follow this rule and snuck through the Uruk-hai's assault with his bow and arrows. Unfortunately, his shield men did not follow, leaving him alone and them to die. As he was readying his arrows, the one remaining Uruk-hai single-handledly demolished the remainder of Heidoran. This brings us to the second lesson:

Rule 2: Make sure there are no survivors.

It turned out he hadn’t noticed the archer sneaking out in the chaos, now poised across the battlefield with a clear look at the ork’s back. While the Uruk celebrated his triumph over Heidoran’s superior numbers, the archer nocked an arrow and raised it to the ready.

The rest of the field was already snickering. A rampage that wiped almost an entire unit being was about to be ended by a single arrow to the back during the ork's victorious roar. It would be heckling material for years.

But there is one more lesson in this story.

Releasing what should have been an arrow of glorious vengeance for his team and enormously hilarity for the realm, the archer watched on as the ork turned, too late, to face the last member of Heidoran. Unfortunately for the archer, in his eagerness to take the shot, the arrow misfired and plopped down only a couple feet from where he was standing. Whoops. 

After that, well, no amount of running could save him.

Rule 3: When you have the element of surprise, don’t miss!