That guy? I hate that guy

Everyone has people they can’t stand on the field. Whether it’s the way they talk, the way they fight, or just the way they take up space, some Belegrim are simply annoying. Fighters have the luxury of beating these people to their heart’s content, rejoicing in every yelp of pain as their opponent screams “Dead dead dead dead!” all within the confines of the rules. I’ve been told it’s one of the reasons many of them enjoy fighting so much; if you’re a skilled fighter, it’s easy to deal with these “problem” people.

Non-coms, on the other hand, don’t have that opportunity. If we’re lucky the people we dislike will stay on the field where they can’t bother us, but often they seem to make a point of hanging around the sidelines, trying to get our attention. We sit there, stewing, wondering if it’s time to pick up a sword just so we can get away from the guy who can’t take a hint.

This is where I admit I’m not always a very nice person. I usually try to be helpful, going out of my way for new fighters and old, doing what I can for my realm and Belegarth as a whole. But when someone really irks me, I start finding ways to be just a little less helpful. Think of it like a shieldman who accidentally “forgets” to stop an arrow headed toward an archer that team killed him during the last battle.

One such incident occurred during the summer when I was back at Numenor. Practices were more sparse once school was out, and many locals I had never met before started showing up in lieu of the usual crowd. Most were completely fine, but a few would just not leave me alone despite my best attempts to push them onto the field. They weren’t mean, but despite having fought for a few years they weren't particularly good at it. Since they didn't like losing and didn't want to train, that meant they spent their time asking me what I was doing on the sidelines. The answer was usually “something that needs my complete attention if I don’t want a needle through my finger.”

Now, I don't really mind answering questions about my work, but I start getting annoyed when you expect me to talk to so much I don't get anything done for several weeks. After being pulled away from my own projects for the hundredth time by this group, I was completely fed up. 

You have no idea how badly I want to do this to you, sir. Photo © Ellie Apland.

At this point, I had been giving them the cold shoulder for a few practices, even telling them point blank that I needed to focus on my work and couldn't talk. I was praying they would eventually take the hint and allow me some breathing room without needing someone else to intervene. Luckily, they sort of seemed to understand, hovering awkwardly nearby and surveying the battle instead of directly bothering me. It was then I heard this:

“Why don’t we go challenge him? He looks skinny.”

Curious, I glanced up from my sewing to see who they were talking about. There was someone at practice they thought they could beat up? It took me a moment, but when I finally realized who they had chosen, I had to quickly stifle an gleeful cackle. They were pointing at Xiao.

For those who don’t know Xiao, he’s not a bulky-looking fighter, but he’s got plenty of lean muscle on him. He hits very hard and fast - way beyond what those guys could handle. Most importantly, he’s friendly enough to not turn down a sparring request but also probably wouldn’t tone down his shots. These guys were about to get their asses kicked. Hard.

Maybe I should have intervened, but I was still pretty annoyed after the weeks of prodded despite many attempts to get them to back off. So I did something that was a bit cruel: I said nothing at all. 

I let those guys walk up to Xiao and challenge him with gusto. Their offer was met with an enthusiastic “Sure! How about King of the Hill?” Only two bouts later they were both done for the day, exhausted, bruised, and wondering what the hell just happened. They had gotten utterly destroyed in a matter of minutes, just like I anticipated, and I couldn't help but feel a little smug at finally getting some payback. 

It didn't take them much longer for them to leave practice entirely, finally coming to the conclusion that they were the bottom of the food chain out there. If even that skinny guy could beat them, what chance did they stand against everyone else? For my part, I never had to deal with them again. I would have been sad about losing bodies out there, but if they weren't going to do anything other than harass me at practice anyway, I was happy not having them around.

I suppose this is a word of warning to those who don’t respect the time of Belegrim who have experience, including the non-coms. We have accumulated a lot of knowledge over the years that can help you; don’t forget that we can choose not to use it. Fighting isn’t the only way we know to take you down a peg if we need to.

Got your own story about dealing with annoying Belegrim? Share in the comments below.