How to pick up a Belegarth girl

Not long ago, I wrote about things you shouldn't say or do to pick up women in Belegarth. Thinking about it a little more, I realized this isn’t really fair of me. Telling you what not to do without providing alternatives is one of my pet peeves about most blog lists.

So here are 5 ways to successfully pick up a woman in Belegarth. At least, it worked for my husband.

5) Ignore her when she approaches you.

If a woman you like comes up to you, don’t appear too eager. Be polite, but make sure you brush her off to chat with other female Belegrim. You may even want to go so far as flirting with other women, teaching them one-on-one, and making it your personal mission to get them on the field while the object of your affections watches from the sidelines. She’ll see you as a challenge worth pursuing, and you won’t need to worry about her getting picked up by other men busy on the battlefield if she’s a non-com.

4) Be as unclear as possible about whether or not you’re into her.

She should still be guessing a month after you start courting her.  Remember: women love mystery. Be sure to only take actions that could be seen as casual friendship. Some examples might be: go out for lunch several times with her but never offer to pay, spend time around her only when your other guy friends are with you, and don't stray from the topic of Belegarth.  You need to maintain your mystique by keeping a healthy distance early on in your relationship.

3) Spend time with your unit over spending time with her.

Bonus points if you miss the first time she invites you to her place; it never hurts to play hard to get. Besides, it’s easy to lose track of time when you’re having fun with your fellow Belegrim. Your fighting brothers are important, and she will respect the strength of your commitment to friendship.

2) Don't hold back when you spar.

In Belegarth, it’s extremely important to make a good first impression if you’re going to be beating up a woman you like. Don’t go easy on her, even if she’s new. A woman will not only appreciate your manly strength, but will be happy you view her as enough of an equal to not hold back. Her bruises and pride will heal. Eventually.

1) Injure yourself.

Not only is this a surefire way to get some concerned female attention, but it will seal the deal for you if you keep doing it. Starting out with a simple injury, like a bloody nose after a bad shot at practice, is a good way to make her notice you. If you want to be sure she sticks around, take it up a notch. For instance, you might try to come back with staples in your forehead after an event. She won’t be able to leave you alone after that, if only because she fears for your life.