How NOT to pick up a Belegarth girl

It is inevitable, given the ratio of men to women in Belegarth, that you will eventually be hit on if you’re female. Even I, in my quiet corner of the game, have managed to attract the odd suitor. And, like anywhere else, it always seems like those most confident in their pickup lines are the most awful.

So, this is a little PSA for all the guys out there who might try to pick up a girl at Bele: don’t do these things!

5) Bragging about your kill count - “Yes, I’m in beast mode today! I’ve killed five people in the past hour!”

This one is especially funny when the woman you’re trying to pick up has a boyfriend who kills as many people in one battle as you do in an entire practice. Best case: she isn’t impressed. Worst case: she laughs in your face.

4) Bragging about your pain tolerance - “It’s probably broken, but I’ve had worse. Grew up on the wrong side of town, y’know.”

The only thing this tells me is that you’re too stupid to get a broken bone checked out. Trying to prove you’re “hardcore” by playing a game through pain doesn’t show toughness; it shows you’re incapable of taking care of yourself.

3) Bragging about your real life weapon collection - “I have, like, 20 swords at home and I practice with them all the time.”

I happen to like weapons and will happily chat about your collection if it’s relevant to the conversation. Don’t try to make up for your lack of skill at Belegarth by claiming you’re a badass who knows all about “real fighting” behind the scenes. You want to impress me? Do it on the field.

2) Awkwardly offering to teach her to fight - “If you ever wanna learn to swing stick, I’d be happy to give you private lessons.”

This can be both insulting and creepy, especially if the woman in question fights at all. It’s okay to tell someone that you’ll be happy to train them if they want to come out to the field. It’s not okay to make phallic references to your sword and tell her you want to teach her one-on-one. It amazes me that there are people who think this is an acceptable thing to say to someone they don’t know.

1) Saying this - “Ugh, I couldn’t stand the last girl who came with me. She kept calling Belegath a LARP. Belegarth isn’t a LARP, LARPs are for fags!”

If this is leaving your lips, picking up women is the least of your worries. You better hope no one with a sense of justice and strong sword arm heard you say that.